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[GreenYes] St Francis and yard care

Title: [GreenYes] St Francis and yard care

A bit of humor on the theme of yard care and related to composting....

 (Overheard in a conversation between God and St. Francis): 

 God:  Francis, you know all about gardens and  nature;   What in the world is
 going on down there in the  U.S.?  What happened to the dandelions, violets,
 thistles and the  stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance
 garden  plan.  Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought, and 
 multiply with abandon.  The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms  attracts
 butterflies, honeybees, and flocks of songbirds.  I expected  to see a vast garden
 of color by now.  All I see are patches of  green.

 St. Francis:  It's the tribes that settled there,  Lord.  They are called the
 Suburbanites.  They started calling  your flowers "weeds" and went to great
 lengths to kill them and replace  them with grass.

 God:  Grass?  But it is so boring, it's  not colorful.  It doesn't attract
 butterflies, bees or birds, only  grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with
 temperatures.  Do these  Suburbanites really want grass growing there?
 St. Francis:  Apparently not, Lord.  As soon as it  has grown a little, they
 cut it ... sometimes two times a week. 

 God:  They cut it?  Do they bale it like hay? 

 St. Francis:  Not exactly, Lord.  Most of them rake it  up and put it in

 God:  They bag it?  Why?  Is  it a cash crop?  Do they sell it?

 St. Francis:   No  sir, just the opposite.  They pay to throw it away. 

 God:  Now let me get this straight ... they fertilize it to  make it grow and
 when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it  away?

 St. Francis: Yes, sir.

God:  These Suburbanites  must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on
 the rain and turn up  the heat.  That surely slows the growth and saves them a
 lot of work. 

 St. Francis:  You aren't going to believe this Lord, but when  the grass
 stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to  water it so they
 can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. 

 God:  What nonsense!  At least they kept some of the  trees. That was a sheer
 stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees  grow leaves in the spring
 to provide beauty and shade in the summer.   In the autumn they fall to the
 ground and form a natural blanket to keep  the moisture in the soil and protect
 the trees and bushes.  Plus, as  they rot, the leaves become compost to
 enhance the soil.  It's a  natural circle of life.

 St. Francis:  You'd better sit down,  Lord.  As soon as the leaves fall, the
 Suburbanites rake them into  great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

God:  No  way!  What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in the 
 winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

 St Francis:  After  throwing the leaves away, they go out and buy something
 called  mulch.  They haul it home and spread it around in place of the  leaves.

 God:  And where do they get this mulch?

 St.  Francis:  They cut down the trees and grind them up to make mulch. 

 God:  Enough!   I don't want to think about this  anymore.  Saint Catherine,
 you're in charge of the arts.  What  movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

 St. Catherine:  "Dumb and Dumber," Lord.   It's a really stupid movie
 God: Never mind -- I think I just heard the whole story from  Saint  Francis!

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