(Fwd) Fwd: [Fwd: NMC: darwin award winner 1997] (fwd)

BOBBI TOUSEY (Bobbi_Tousey@picard.p2pays.org)
Fri, 22 Jan 1999 16:53:35 -0500


Couldn't resist sending this to you as a little midweek humor. Bobbi

------- Forwarded Message Follows -------
Date: Mon, 28 Apr 1997 20:51:04 -0700 (PDT)
To: mshore@owr.ehnr.state.nc.us, MJShore@aol.com, greencasa@aol.com,
GLDS@aol.com, tinaleelam@aol.com
From: Karen Shore <karen@igsb.com>
Subject: Fwd: [Fwd: NMC: darwin award winner 1997] (fwd)

>From: bill_wisialowski@rsco.com
>Date: Mon, 28 Apr 97 13:09:21 -0800
>To: <tswisialowski@phjw.com>, <johnwiz@laborletter.com>, <karen@igsb.com>,
> <FOOFAS@aol.com>
>Subject: Fwd: [Fwd: NMC: darwin award winner 1997] (fwd)
>
>
>
>>DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED
>>
>>You all know about the Darwin Awards - an annual honor given to the person
>>who did the gene pool the biggest service by meeting their demise in the
>>most extraordinarily stupid way.
>>
>>The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which
>>toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of
>>it.
>>
>>In 1996 the winner was an air force sergeant who attached a jet engine
>>(JATO) unit to his car and crashed into a cliff several hundred feet
>>above the road.
>>
>>And now, the 1997 winner: Larry Waters of Los Angeles -- one of the few
>>Darwin winners to actually survive his award-winning accomplishment.
>>
>>Larry's boyhood dream was to fly. When he graduated from high school, he
>>joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, poor
>>eyesight disqualified him. When he was finally discharged, he had to
>>satisfy himself with watching jets fly over his backyard.
>>
>>One day, Larry, had a bright idea. He decided to fly. He went to the
>>local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons and
>>several tanks of helium. The weather balloons, when fully inflated,
>>would measure more than four feet across.
>>
>>Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn chair.He
>>anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the
>> balloons with the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was still
>> only a few feet above the ground.
>>
>> Satisfied it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a six- pack
>>of Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun -- figuring he could pop a few
>>balloons when it was time to descend -- and went back to the floating lawn
>>chair. He tied himself in along with his pellet gun and provisions.
>>
>>Larry's plan was to lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above
>>his back yard after severing the anchor and in a few hours come back
>>down.
>>
>>Things didn't quite work out that way.
>>
>>When he cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't
>>float lazily up to 30 or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as
>>if shot from a cannon.
>>
>>He didn't level of at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 feet. After
>>climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000 feet. At that height he
>>couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and
>>really find himself in trouble.
>>
>>So he stayed there, drifting, cold and frightened, for more than 14 hours.
>>
>>Then he really got in trouble. He found himself drifting into the primary
>>approach corridor of Los Angeles International Airport.
>>A United pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and
>>described passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. Radar
>>confirmed the existence of an object floating 11,000 feet above the
>>airport.
>>
>>
>>LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter was
>>dispatched to investigate. LAX is right on the ocean. Night was falling
>>and the offshore breeze began to flow. It carried Larry out to sea with
>>the helicopter in hot pursuit.
>>
>>Several miles out, the helicopter caught up with Larry. Once the crew
>>determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in for a
>>rescue but the draft from the blades would push Larry away whenever they
>>neared. Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet
>>above Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the line and was
>>hauled back to shore. The difficult maneuver was flawlessly executed by
>>the helicopter crew.
>>
>>As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by waiting members of
>>the LAPD for violating LAX airspace. As he was led away in handcuffs, a
>>reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue asked why he had done it.
>>
>>Larry stopped, turned and replied nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit
>>around."
>>
>>Let's hear it for Larry Waters, the 1997 Darwin Award Winner.
>>
>>
>>solo/92 Indigo
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